4 Tips to Speak with Confidence

By Don Laird, Psychotherapist, MS, NCC, LPC, and 2017 Speak & Tell! Camp Guest Presenter

What do you fear about public speaking? The short answer is:  Not knowing what will happen when you are in front of a group of people. It’s not the topic that you are worried about. You know the material. You’ve studied your speech, rehearsed it, and played it out in your head a hundred times. Your worry stems from what will happen when you step to the podium.

The fear of being critiqued, making a mistake, or not measuring up, can all stop a good speech in its tracks or make a great performance mediocre at best. Always keep this mind; the people you are speaking in front of want you to do well. Nobody wants to sit through a bad speech. They want information delivered clearly and concisely and only you can stop that from happening. If you are genuine, relaxed, and you cover the material with clarity, you will win over the audience. In most cases, whatever you're frightened of most won't occur. Remember, if your inner dialog talked you into feeling worried then you can always self talk yourself out of fear.

1. Be prepared.Make sure you know the material that you're going to cover. Create a detailed outline; make note cards, and allow yourself to visualize the text.  As an example, associate parts of your speech to the time of day. For instance, imagine the first part of your outline is the early morning. The second part is Noon. The third part is the afternoon, etc. Associate each part of your speech or outline with how you imagine the time of day. You can also use pictures or photos to illustrate something that will help you remember a point. The morning of the presentation, do a run through using your particular visualization technique.
    
2. Competency matters and practice does indeed make perfect (or at least close to perfect). Try to stick with topics that you are familiar with and have a level of interest that exceeds what you’ve written or researched. Liking a topic goes a long way. Speaking on a subject that you are not familiar with or interested in will typically increase your stress. Additionally, find alternate places that can afford you the opportunity to practice. Practicing your speech in the same location may not provide you with the flexibility needed when you “go live” in front of an audience.
    
3. Relaxing is the art and science of letting go. There are many ways to relax, but one of the most efficient and easiest ways is to practice deep breathing. Practicing a breathing exercise daily will relax your body and mind. Here's one that you can do anywhere, even before your speech or presentation.
   

   - Sit comfortably, with your knees bent and your shoulders, head and neck relaxed.
   - Place one hand on your upper chest and the other just below your rib cage. This will allow you to feel your diaphragm move as you breathe.
   - Breathe in slowly through your nose so that your stomach moves out against your hand. The hand on your chest should remain as still as possible.
   - Tighten your stomach muscles, letting them fall inward as you exhale through your mouth. The hand on your upper chest must remain as still as possible.
   

4. Don’t let them see you sweat. No one can read your mind, but they can read your body language. Appear nervous and the audience will know you are nervous. Your stomach might be in knots, but the crowd won’t know unless you make it obvious. Relax! (See Number 3) Most times, with public speaking, you think that people may notice you're nervous. Remember, this makes you even more nervous. Don't worry so much. As I said before, people want to see you succeed. They want a good speech. You can do this!

And so the day has arrived for you to deliver your speech or presentation. All of your preparation and hard work has brought you to this point. Be confident. Don’t allow yourself to be the only one in the room who thinks you don’t have this.  Stand tall, shoulders back and smile. Even though you might not feel confident, do it anyway. You will look confident and the audience will respond accordingly. Follow the above points. Create a few of your own, but above all, relax and enjoy the moment.

To learn more about Speak & Tell! camp or any of our other exciting, fun and unique Summer Camps for Teens, email us at luminari@luminari.org or call us at (412) 877 -1888.

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Don Laird is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Nationally Certified Counselor with more than 13 years of experience in providing help to adults, teens, couples, and families who are struggling with a wide range of issues including but not limited to: anxiety, depression, self esteem and confidence issues. As well as providing psychotherapy and counseling services, Don is a published author and adjunct professor who teaches graduate and undergraduate courses in professional counseling and psychology at Carlow University. Additionally, he facilitates workshops in the areas of dreams, self growth, and stress reduction and co-host a podcast on psychology.

Where Are They Now? Nick Ungarino

by Beth Dolinar, Luminari Coordinator, Speak & Tell! Director

Nick Ungarino Photo by Cooper Kusbit

Here at Lumos, we like to check back in with some of our campers, to find out what they’ve been up to—and to get their thoughts on how the Luminari Camp experience has enhanced their lives.

Nicholas Ungarino attended both “I Want to be an Ambassador!” and “Speak & Tell!” camps in summer 2016. He’s now a senior at Northgate High School.

Senior year of high school has the reputation of being rather easy, because students have one foot out the door on the way to college. Are you finding that to be the case with your senior year?

This school year I filled my schedule with some of the more rigorous advanced placement courses including Calculus, Statistics, Physics 2, and English literature including seven college credits. In addition to my classes, I've begun to practice cross-country mountain bike racing. This adds to my already busy schedule of cross-country, track, and work. Any spare time I have left is usually dedicated to learning 3D modeling and animation alongside coding. So when it comes down to it, I have to say that this year is even more difficult than the previous.

What are your college and career plans?

At the moment, I'm not completely sure where I will be going to college. I do know that I will be attending either Pennsylvania State, Ohio State, Purdue, or Georgia Institute of Technology for aerospace engineering. Beyond college, in the best scenario, I will receive a dream job at NASA, Boeing, or SpaceX.

In what way did the Luminari camps change the way you think about yourself—your strengths and your weaknesses?

One of the things Luminari taught me about my weaknesses is, instead of trying to hide them, to use them as an excuse to show that I have the initiative to improve myself. I was also taught to take advantage of my strengths in all aspects of my life to further myself.

You attended the Ambassador Camp last summer. In what way did that experience change the way you look at your high school classmates?

Ambassador camp helped me to view situations from everyone's perspective and backgrounds to understand why each person may react in certain ways. This skill has helped me to guide classmates through their situations and problems.

You're a student athlete. Do you plan to continue with sports in college? if not, what will you miss most about them?

Aside from mountain biking, I do not plan to play any sports competitively. But being an athlete and a lover of many sports, I will most likely be joining the snowboarding, soccer, and hockey clubs.

At the closing program of the Speak and Tell Camp, you told the story of how you ate the world's hottest pepper and lived to tell about it. How's your hot pepper consumption habit been lately? Do you still risk the really hot ones?

Since eating the Carolina reaper pepper, I have stayed far away from extremely hot peppers, though most peppers aren't very hot in comparison. My next challenge will be to complete the Triple Atomic Wing challenge at Quaker Steak & Lube with my friends.

***

Are you a former Luminari camper? Are you interested in sharing with our readers how your participation in one of our camps has influenced your life? Would you be interested in updating the Luminari community on recent accomplishments, lessons learned or life goals? Let us know in the comments below.

P.S. If you liked this post, you might enjoy our newsletter. Receive each new post delivered right to your inbox, plus our can’t-miss news and program updates from Luminari. Sign up here.

Speak Up: Lessons from Public Speaking Camp

by Judi Rosen, Parent of 2016 Speak & Tell! camper

How often do any of us get to learn a life skill?

How many times have you had an idea, but not the tools to express it?

For as much as we all try to slow down the spinning wheels in our kids’ lives, their schedules are often demanding, and the opportunities to gain real tools can be hard to find. They are asked to write in a variety of styles, and to speak in front of their peers in school throughout the year.

Eventually this will translate to their adult lives, when the honing of communication skills becomes especially more valuable to both their personal and professional lives.

Our son, Max Rosen is a Sophomore at Taylor Allderdice. This past summer, he took the opportunity to slow down his wheels and without question, he gained the benefit of picking up on some extremely valuable life skills.

For four well-staffed, entertaining and amusingly hardworking days, high school students from the Pittsburgh area were brought together to focus on telling stories. We enrolled Max in Luminari’s “Speak & Tell!” camp.

The campers went from concept to paper, and from paper to speech. Camp Director Beth Dolinar led them through the process from start to finish with great skill, compassion and wit!

She enlisted the assistance of other local professionals—including a broadcaster, a storyteller, a corporate communications trainer and a relaxation teacher-- to illuminate concepts that were valuable to their learning.

By Friday, each of the students was able to stand in front of a crowd to communicate their thoughts, feelings and ideas not once, but twice.

Max’s first speech was about the cooler aspects of boredom, which he read from notes while trying to look up and connect with the listeners when possible.

For him, boredom can lead to discovery, it lets his mind open, and encourages him to wonder. In that process, he finds ideas that lead to his passions which engage him in his life and cause him to think about the future.

Speech number two was given without notes to read from. Max recalled the thrill of a very close crew race that he rowed in at Allderdice last spring.

You could feel his excitement, and the energy was palpable because he was recounting something that was meaningful to him.

For the campers, the differences in their two speeches were lessons in themselves to gain awareness of how to move through the written word and how to think on your feet, both skills that they will call upon frequently.

It was a wonderful example for them to have both the experience of speaking with and without notes, and all of the kids were able to do that remarkably well by the end of the week.

Perhaps the most memorable moments for me as a parent were watching Max practice these new skills with confidence, while sharing his thoughts with humor and craft.

Equally as meaningful was the reception that the teens gave to each other.

All week long they explored ideas in an encouraging environment.

And by that Friday, it was nothing short of heartwarming to watch as they cheered one another on!

Speak & Tell: I ate the hottest pepper in the world...

This is the text of the personal story Nick told at the closing ceremony for the "Speak & Tell!" Camp on July 8, 2016.


By Nick Ungarino

I ate the hottest pepper in the world…

So it was a normal day at my house. Just me and my brother. Eventually, he told me about a pepper garden that his friend was growing and asked, “do you want to eat the carolina reaper pepper?” Making a not so great decision I accepted his challenge. We soon moved out to prepare. We went to the local grocery store and stocked up on ice cream and milk. After returning home, his friend finally arrived. He was wearing thick gloves holding the pepper, which looked like it was something created by the devil. The pepper was red, shriveled, and had a tail coming off the bottom of it. None the less, I ate the pepper.

Five seconds went by and I felt nothing. The only thing I notice was how gross it tasted. But a few seconds passed and it immediately became the most painful thing I have ever experienced. Everything was burning: my nose, my mouth, and especially my throat. I immediately went for the milk. Half a gallon in I could drink no more. I tried the ice cream but that just made it worse. There was no escaping it now, I just had to sit through it. My face became cherry red, my eyes were watering, and my whole head was beading with sweat, not to mention that every breath of air was like taking a dagger to the throat. I honestly thought I would need to go to the hospital. After fifty minutes of this terror it was finally over, or so I thought…

Soon enough the stomach cramps began. The first one had me laying over a chair to relieve the pain as much as possible. After about ten minutes this one was over. The second one woke me up at two in the morning. This time, I was very close to throwing up. I'm not exactly sure how long this one lasted, but I do remember that I woke up that morning on the bathroom floor. But as you probably know, all things good and bad must come to an end. Just as the pepper had entered it had to make an exit at some point. Now I'm going to keep this part short and simple; it felt like sitting on a burning hot frying pan. Now though I can say that I ate the hottest pepper in the world.

***

Nick Ungarino, 17, will be a senior at Northgate High School this upcoming school year. Nick was also a participant in Luminari's 2016 I Want to be an Ambassador! camp. 

Speak & Tell: Boredom is Good

This is the text of the speech Max presented at the closing ceremony for the "Speak & Tell!" Camp on July 8, 2016.

By Max Rosen

I think boredom is pretty cool.

When you are bored your brain tries to find things to fill that mental gap. It boosts your creativity and causes you to think outside the box.

I get bored very easily, and this actually led to me discovering many of my hobbies and interests. One of these is poetry, which has become very important in my life, especially this past year as I made it the focus of my long-term project. I discovered poetry during an English class where we had to write a structured essay, and I wasn't finding it very interesting. I grew bored and my mind wandered to how I would write about the topic if it wasn’t structured. So I began writing poems and it has become a big form of expression for me since then.

Everybody gets bored at some point in the day, whether it's at school, or a meeting or even during this speech.

And these moments are very important.

What do you think about when you’re bored?

Generally, you think about what could happen or what or what could be accomplished. You don’t usually think about what has happened in the past or how you could have done it differently. I find this very interesting and think it’s just another reason why boredom is so great. It makes you think about the future and problems you can solve. It raises questions that may not be answered yet and makes you wonder what those answers might be. Boredom causes a creative impulse that drives us forward as people. This creativity allows for humanity to continue to break down its barriers.

So I ask you, what are those questions? And can you answer them?

Thank you

***

Max Rosen, 15, is a rising sophomore at Taylor Allderdice High School.

Develop Your Best SELF[ie]

Luminari’s newest camp, Speak & Tell!, is a unique and fun blend of performance art, audience engagement techniques, guest presentations, breathing exercises and confidence-boosting activities that will help teens shed their fear of speaking in public. This four-day summer camp is perfect for rising 8th to 12th graders who shy away from social events, but it's also for those students who are looking for an extra edge in developing their presentation skills.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines personality as “the set of emotional qualities that makes a person different from other people (qualities such as energy, friendliness, and humor).” Simply put, it is the behaviors one exhibits in social situations. Maybe not too surprisingly then, the origin of the word personality comes from the Latin word persona, which translates to “social mask.” An important part of public speaking is finding one’s own unique voice that plays to his or her strengths. Experienced speakers know this and use a variety of techniques to connect with their audiences while letting their authentic selves shine through.

To develop their own public speaking personas, campers will learn from and work with noted Pittsburgh-area TV, Sports and Theater professionals who will present Master Classes that prove public speaking can be fun.

Meet our camp thespian and Master Class instructor: TIM HARTMAN

Tim Hartman

Tim Hartman, is a native Pittsburgher, and has been professionally acting, singing, writing, cartooning and storytelling since 1982. Though known primarily for his work on the stage, including appearances on Broadway in “A Tale of Two Cities” and the Tony nominated “Finian’s Rainbow”, Tim’s favorite job is telling stories to children and family audiences for the Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, where it is estimated he has performed for over 2 million children over a thirty year period. Other favorite roles include C.S. Lewis in the Pittsburgh premier of “Shadowlands”, Don Quixote in “The Man of La Mancha” and Daddy Warbucks in “Annie”. Film roles include “Silence of the Lambs”, “The Mothman Prophecies”, “The Piano Lesson”, “The Mysteries of Pittsburgh” and the film “The Fault in our Stars”. Tim is also an award-winning political cartoonist and his cartoons appear in 30 newspapers across Pennsylvania. Learn more about Tim at www.timhartman.com.

Meet our resident Sports Journalist and Master Class instructor: STAN SAVRAN

Stan Savran

Stan Savran joined FSN in 1992, and is one of the most respected sportscasters in Pittsburgh and serves as the primary host of Pirates and Penguins pregame shows. During football season, Savran hosts The Mike Tomlin Show and the Mike Tomlin Press Conference on FSN Pittsburgh. Honored in the Western Pennsylvania Sports Hall of Fame, Savran celebrates over 35 years of experience in the Pittsburgh sports arena.

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We’re registering students now for Speak& Tell! Have fun winning over an audience, develop your personality, and conquer stage fright this summer. To learn more about Luminari and all of its teen summer camps, call (412) 877 – 1888 or visit www.luminari.org for more information.

Speak & Tell!

Who: Rising 8th – 12th graders
When: JULY 5 – 8, 2016 (9 am – 3 pm)
Where: Rodef Shalom, 4905 Fifth Avenue, Pittsburgh PA 15213
How much: $350.00
Sign Up: Click here to register today or visit the Luminari website to learn more

Top 5 Reasons for Teens to embrace Public Speaking

Luminari's Speak & Tell! camp 2016 begins July 5. So we're counting down the TOP 5 Reasons Your Teen should SIGN UP....

Who? Rising 8th – 12th graders
When? JULY 5 – 8, 2016 (9 am – 3 pm)
Where? Rodef Shalom, 4905 Fifth Avenue, Pittsburgh PA 15213
How much? $350.00

Learn more or register today for one of our fun and unique summer camps for teens at www.luminari.org or call 412-877-1888.

How to win over an audience

By Beth Dolinar 

  

    Mrs. Bell was probably about 50 then, but we thought of her as 80, because when you’re in middle school you tend to think of all middle-aged teachers as very old. Mrs. Bell had teased silver hair and bright red lipstick and she wore enough perfume you could smell it in the hall outside her room. She wore sensible shoes and pretty dresses, and I loved her.

    When I was in eighth grade, Mrs. Bell taught public speaking—a class I decided to take after noticing that some of the more popular students flocked to it. Like most teenagers (in fact, like most people of all ages) I was afraid of speaking in front of an audience. What was it about Mrs. Bell that attracted those students to such a scary class?

     And so I took the class, took the leap and registered for the one experience that most 14-year-olds would avoid like a snake pit or a spider web?

   Isn’t that the cliché--that most people are more afraid of public speaking than of snakes or spiders? Psychologists say the anxiety is deeply rooted in fears of embarrassment, of being inadequate. We all have that dream of being naked in the grocery checkout line, don’t we?

    But I wasn’t afraid for long, because Mrs. Bell taught us how not to be. She spoke of poise, of eye contact, of organizing our thoughts ahead of time so that we are confident. She showed us how to use index cards onto which we’d written just a few key points, and how those few words will lead us through a speech without fear of forgetting anything.

     I grasped all of that right away. What took longer, though, was learning to find that one moment in which I would connect with my audience. Mrs. Bell told us it could be a memory that everyone shared, or painting a mental picture, or saying something funny. And she promised that, once I’d made that one connection, the audience would be in my hand.

    “The audience wants you to do well,” she would tell us. And although that’s a hard concept for a teenager to grasp, she was right. When I’m in an audience, I root for the speaker to do well. I listen carefully, am quick to laugh and respond, I’m generous with my applause. It’s one of the best parts of human nature and in my years as a public speaker, I’ve found that it’s almost universal.

      People are kind to speakers. When you’re giving a speech, you will feel that warmth, and if you relax, you will respond to it. After mastering that, giving a speech is not something to be feared, but something to enjoy.

    During my 20 years as a TV news reporter and anchor, people would often ask whether I was nervous while on camera.

   “Not nervous-afraid, but sort of jumpy with energy,” I would answer. Since leaving television news, I’ve given many speeches, to audiences very large and quite small. Have I been brilliant every time? Of course not.

   But I’ve always had fun.

    That’s what the Luminari Speak and Tell! camp will be about—the fun and exhilaration of public speaking. During the four days this summer, we will approach public speaking as something to be enjoyed. We’ll learn techniques to calm the jitters, learn how to organize thoughts, how to develop our own voices, how to find that moment to connect with an audience, how to find the humor in a topic. We’ll hear from professionals who make their careers speaking publicly, and we’ll learn how to speak on camera.

      Speak and Tell! will show our students how to find the confidence to express themselves in front of an audience, and to walk away feeling happy that they’d done it.

    I’m remembering my first major public speech. Mrs. Bell chose me to address a school-wide music assembly. I was to read a few lines about the performers and then make a few of my own remarks.

  That morning, I stood backstage waiting for the curtain to rise (I was wearing a dress I’d sewn myself for the occasion—black with orange pumpkins. It was October!). I was nervous, but I was prepared. The curtain went up, I walked out, gave my little speech, and said thank you.

   The audience—500 students—applauded. For me.

    It felt wonderful. 

***

New for summer 2016 - Speak and Tell! 

Who says public speaking has to cause sweaty palms and weak knees? Public speaking is fun, Our Speak and Tell! camp will turn your stage fright to stage might, as you learn new ways to win over an audience with your ideas and charisma, and enjoy being in front of an audience. Register Here.

Who: Rising 8th - 12th graders

When: July 5-8, 2016 (9 am - 3 pm)

Cost: $350.00 ($325.00, if application is submitted or postmarked before May 1, 2016). Tuition is not refundable.